L’HOMO BOSTONIENSIS.
Il 1968 è un anno cruciale nella storia dell’Occidente contemporaneo, tanto da aver creato un’antonomasia specifica: quando si nomina il ’68 a tutti, compresi quelli nati in seguito, viene in mente un preciso clima contestatario e giovanilistico.
Ebbene, si dà il caso che in quell’anno occorressero anche altri fatti, magari di minor conto, che tuttavia maggiormente interessano un curiosone amante dell’insolito qual è il sottoscritto, come, per l’appunto, la vicenda che vede (inerte) protagonista quello che potremmo definire l’ominide di Boston.
Accadeva infatti che nei pressi dell’importante metropoli statunitense in quella data venisse esposto al pubblico uno strano esemplare, presunto appartenente alla radiazione evolutiva che comprende anche la nostra specie: si trattava di un essere antropomorfo, la cui stazza era per la gran parte ricoperta di una fitta pelliccia, intrappolato in un parallelepipedo di ghiaccio che ne aveva perfettamente conservato il corpo.
Ne ebbero notizia due i zoologi Ivan Sanderson e Bernard Heuvelmans, che non persero l’occasione di esaminare un tanto rilevante reperto.
A dire il vero, come già si accennava, il primate ibernato si trovava in un contesto tutt’altro che scientifico, all’interno di un ranch, buen retiro di un tale Frank Hansen che, prima della pensione, aveva battuto il Paese in lungo e in largo in qualità di… imbonitore!
Hansen aveva adibito un’istallazione entro cui mostrava l’ominide a un pubblico pagante per la modica cifra di 35¢ a testa.
Hansen si dimostrò da subito molto disponibile con la coppia di scienziati, concedendo loro un paio di giorni per le loro osservazioni, senza neppure pretendere la riscossione di un biglietto… Tale ospitalità, che si potrebbe idealmente attribuire a chi non abbia alcunché da nascondere, ma sia invece pienamente convinto della bontà del proprio agire, non sembrò tuttavia essere corroborata dagli accertamenti dei due.
Già l’opacità della vetrina-frigo e del ghiaccio non rendevano troppo perspicuo il cadavere sotto esame, che si supponeva risalente all’era glaciale. Oltre a ciò, anche solo a occhio nudo la veridicità del campione appariva dubbia, più simile a un artefatto che a un Neandertaliano surgelato, per quanto ben assemblato esso fosse. Anche la storia del ritrovamento fornita da Hansen faceva acqua da tutte le parti (proprio come se il termostato del freezer contenente il pezzo di ghiaccio si fosse improvvisamente guastato): il tizio sosteneva che l’intero blocco fosse stato rinvenuto da un gruppo di cacciatori di foche mentre galleggiava nel mare siberiano e che fosse successivamente ricomparso in un emporio di Hong Kong, dove era stato alienato a un ricco collezionista americano, e poi da quello all’attuale proprietario.
Gli organi accademici, come le maggiori testate nazionali, si disinteressarono ben presto all’ominide, descrivendolo come un falso troglodita fatto di lattice e di pelliccia animale (alla stregua delle grandi imposture para-scientifiche della sirena posticcia presentata dal Circo Barnum, che presto si rivelò essere il torso essiccato di una scimmia appiccicato alla coda di un pesce, o del finto serpente marino di Koch, posto insieme con pezzi di cetacei). Addirittura il blocco di ghiaccio fu messo in dubbio, visto che in realtà sembrava trattarsi di un solido di plexiglas.
L’intera faccenda sembra dunque spiegarsi da sola, non fosse per il particolare fornito da Heuvelmans all’FBI (che però non pensò fosse il caso di approfondirlo): dopo i due giorni di analisi del corpo, all’infuori della scarsa credibilità del soggetto, allo zoologo parve anche di notare il foro di entrata di un proiettile, all’altezza dell’occhio destro dello pseudo-ominide. Questo introdurrebbe all’ulteriore, interessante scenario della vittima di un omicidio occultata per sempre sotto le spoglie fittizie di un nostro lontano progenitore on the rocks.
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[…] Ecco alcuni dei cattivoni che Mister Okay si trova perciò ad affrontare nel corso della novella: Mao Zedong, Ivan il Terribile, Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Josif Stalin, Napoleone, Gengis Khan, Caligola, Charles Manson, Ed Gain, John Wayne Gacy, King-Jong Un, Attila, Landru, Erzsébet Bàthory, Pietro Pacciani, Billy the Kid, Al Capone, il pirata Barbanera etc. etc. etc. C’è addirittura l’Uomo di Boston, di cui parlavamo qui. […]